Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please, eliminate three. P.S. I am not a crackpot. You don't win friends with salad. I'm a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world. D'oh. A lifetime of working with nuclear power has left me with a healthy green glow…and left me as impotent as a […]
What's the point of going out? We're just going to wind up back here anyway. I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes! And now, in the spirit of the season: start shopping. And for every dollar of Krusty merchandise you […]
Look, my liege! Shut up! Will you shut up?! What a strange person. But you are dressed as one…I blow my nose at you, so-called Ah-thoor Keeng, you and all your silly English K-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-niggits! The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the […]
I've done everything the Bible says — even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff! Our differences are only skin deep, but our sames go down to the bone. And now, in the spirit of the season: start shopping. And for every dollar of Krusty merchandise you buy, I will be nice to a sick […]
Why do you think that she is a witch? He hasn't got stuff all over him. Well, I didn't vote for you. A newt? Look, my liege! I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough water! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your […]